Friday, June 27, 2008

Fractals, Thespians, and Skylights

The following dreams occurred on the night of Satuday, May 10th, 2008:

It all started with me standing in my house, and really subtle things would happen that i would notice were wrong or out of place, like I heard the sound of an animal lapping water, the I remembered that all the pets have died at this point. I went to check it out and suddenly someone ran past me. They were a dark shadowy figure and they hid in the shadows. I then closed my eyes (in the dream) and I was looking @ exactly what I'd been looking @ before, as in, I was seeing through my eyelids, then I realized I was sleeping. but then I remembered that I'd been watching something on my computer before I fell asleep, and my computer had been sitting on my lap. So I tried to move my waking hand to move and check if the computer was still there while maintaining the dream imagery. and it worked... to my dream eyes I was standing in my kitchen back in P-town, but I could feel my computer. So I picked it up and moved it to the chair so I wouldn't knock it over, then I was completely awake and I took a drink of gatorade, and prepared to re-enter dream world mind you... I think the whole part about moving my computer while asleep could have all been a dream. I may have dreamt I felt my computer and moved it. I think I may have moved it earlier, because the other scenario is too crazy to comprehend...

*

I was @ AL’s house (as I seemed to be for quite a few sections of this dream series). I was down in the basement in the room that was first ML’s (AL's brother) but then became AL’s. ML still owned it, and he’d added some extension to it. It seemed like the house had been abandoned or something, and ML had taken up occupancy as a last resort. He was showing off his new spacious skylights over the area that previously stretched out to the retaining wall. It seemed like ML was sitting on a ladder towards the edge of the space that was his old room and the new extension, he pointed out and said, “check it out, isn’t this pretty friggin awesome?” I stepped out and walked around. It was raining really hard, and water was pouring in everywhere from cracks in the ceiling. The carpet was a deep red, and it was completely soaked (reminiscent of the carpet in my sister’s room was before the refurnishing). I pointed out the leaky ceiling and he went into a rage and wanted to fight me.

**

It was as though my entire time in the music school were turned into a television show about medicine, and they didn’t bother to change the departments around, so there was still theater/drama, ect. I was on the top floor of the medical building, between some research lab and the chief resident’s office. Someone in my class was on the brink of death. He was staying in a hospital, and a lot of my classmates were there with him. He was suffering from a skin condition among many other things. I was told that one of the treatments he was undergoing had something to do with blood oxygenation therapy. There was some sort of large mechanized vial holding some of his extracted blood sitting on the counter in front of me. For some reason it was my duty to work this mechanism. The way it worked resembled a miniature bike pump. I’d pull and push the pump and watch how the blood was responding to the oxygen. The trippy part was that incandescent fractal swirls would manifest as the oxygen soaked in, and if there were too much/little oxygen in one area it would glow red or purprle, or all shades thereof. Properly oxygenated blood would briefly glow green before fading to black (it were as though I were watching this take place on a screen). The fractals were incredibly brilliant, some of the cooler stuff I’ve seen. I was pumping for what seemed to be about 5 minutes when I realized that I had no idea how long I was supposed to pump, or who I was supposed to report to. As I started to walk to figure these things out, I accidentally pulled the top section of the vial open and some of the blood managed to splash into my mouth. I was freaked out about the possibility that I’d contracted something. So I tried to hunt down the chief resident to see if he could help. The chief resident looked a bit like Rev. Jackson. I searched all over the hospital but couldn’t find him, when I finally did find him he was extremely busy.

***

I was in some sort of thespian drama class and we were doing a dramatic reading of a play about programming. Everyone else was having a really easy time, but I couldn’t pull it together for the life of me. It was ridiculously hard to find the correct page, and then it was even harder to find my line. When I finally found my line it would have pictures and symbols intermixed. As I went on there were less and less words, and more and more pictures. For a line that should read “mother has a deep love for you all,” there would be a picture of a woman holding a baby, then a heart sunk deep beneath the ocean, and then a group of people standing around. Everyone was getting really irritated by the fact that I couldn’t get my lines straight, but they were acting as though they were playing it off in a theatrical passive aggressive way.

it was like I had to figure out a riddle as I was reading for the first time, and I was the only one having a problem with this everyone was getting really pissed, and one of the professors came over and said the greatest monologue ever... "Do you remember AB? Little guy, wouldn't think much just by looking at him. Well AB never took shit from anyone. He may have been small, but he was always on top of things. I think you can learn a lot from AB. He never would have had this much trouble, and he certainly wouldn't have taken this kind of shit if he did." Then the prof started walking away, I stood up on my chair and yelled "WHAT THE F***!?" and the room went silent, the prof turned around and I said... "That's what AB would do."

Note: The portion of the brain which enables reading is "turned off" while we dream, so technically reading should not be possible. A friend pointed out that my brains ability to substitute symbols for words was a subconscious attempt at working around this. A few nights later I became lucid and decided to test this out. I grabbed a book and sure enough, when I tried to read words letter by letter everything would disintegrate into squiggles and symbols. However, I found that if I didn't focus on the words, and took them into my peripheral vision, I would see an entire word suddenly flash into focus. This makes me wonder, is it possible that the area of the brain that handles phonetics and linguistic patterns is shut down, while the ability to call up words/phrases as chunks is still possible? More on this later.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Lucid, and Not So Lucid...

Though the subject matter of last nights dream was not all that strange, the irony of what transpired was too thick to believe. I didn’t write it down immediately so some of the details have been lost, but the gist is still there. I was hanging out with my mother and sister in the living room when my friend JW dropped in for a while. He was being outgoing and happy go lucky as usual, but there was something strange about the whole interaction, everyone was discussing something fantastical, and I was a bit lost until the moment I snapped into lucidity.

I believe the realization came when I tried to do some reality tests and they failed (this unloved inspecting some things closely). At this point I began having trouble speaking, and was no longer able to interact with anyone in the room. The fabric of the dream unwound, and I found myself in what I believed to be a waking state. The situation was one which has been recurring recently, I was back in high school for one reason or another (sometimes it works out better financially for me to take one more year of high school before doing my doctorate… go figure).

Here’s where this gets interesting, at one point I end up back in my living room with my mother and sister. I realize that I’ve dreamed this exact situation before, and try to explain the dream to them. A part of me realizes that this could still be a dream, but at this very moment things became very vivid. I looked really closely at the wall and ran my hand along it, and it looked and felt completely real. Every reality test passed, and I continued explaining the dream (as I was having it) to my mother and sister. They were quite confused, and I was unable to correctly put my ideas into words.

Note: This dream brings to light something I’ve been pondering for the past few weeks. Dreams will often echo thoughts and actions from waking life, but what happens when I devote a chunk (even a small one) of my waking life to documenting and discussing my dreams? This dream is one such manifestation: I tried to recount a dream scenario to characters in my dream. This is humorous, but unremarkable. Here’s the one that gets me: I’ve been trying to decide how to present my dreams, and I’ve been going through my dream archive and trying to decide which dreams are best for sharing… but what happens if I become aware of the fact that I’m dreaming and proceed to censor/guide my dream activity with the knowledge that I’ll be sharing it later?

I anticipate that as this thing evolves I’ll dive more into my theories and findings, expound upon ideas that arise in dreams, and perhaps do a bit of analysis. Many dreams from the archive read like laundry lists of actions, and this can get boring. I’ll try to touch upon emotional content as I continue developing my narrative style.

My Socks Were Too Big...

From the Archive:

I was with my family somewhere. I was looking after my little cousin JN. She hopped down from whatever it was we were on and started walking around on the snow. I noticed that she was barefoot and said “lets find something for you to but on your feet!” She said something like “I’m surprised that you noticed that, we really should cover up my feet.” I tried giving her my socks but they were too big, in the end we never found anything for her. It looked like she was growing exponentially as we hung out.

Note: This dream was a catalyst in the creation of this Blog. The following night this whole scene was acted out almost exactly as it's written here. Still blows my mind...

Worst... Meijers... EVER

From the Archive:

I was working @ Meijer, and there were a whooole bunch of people working in my area. I was trying to figure out how they could be making profit when there were so many employees and so few shoppers. I eventually got a white dress completely sudsy when I was trying to clean it. I talked to a manager about whether I could just rinse it in the sink, and he said that no I had to go to a special cleaning facility in the back. The back area opened up into a huge warehouse, and then I wasn’t sure if I was outside or just in a huge space. I walked through a bunch of tarps and there were huge tubs in the back. They started like normal bathtubs, but the farther I went the more they were like alien pods or something. The shape I took was kinda a large “r”, working my way around to one of the tubs in the back. The texture of the water was very strange, and there was someone stirring the tub. There were lines across the surface that seemed rather static. I noticed something really strange, there was a public pool back there too, and I came to realize that people were swimming in this fabric-cleaning tub. There were a bunch of kids who’d gotten out and were rubbing there eyes and crying.

I'm awfully big... for a 4 week old

From the Archive:

I was with a bunch of people at a restaurant. We were sitting at a table outside on the deck overlooking the water. It was next to a window that let us look inside. I was sitting with a few attractive girls. One of them had a strong southern accent and was sitting across the table (she had walked up and smiled like she wanted to talk to me). I asked if she was from here (Alaska) and she said “Yeah…. I was just born with this funny accent… no sweety I’m from (insert southern state here).” We both laughed a bit. She asked me if I was from here and I said “Yeah I’ve lived here all my life, so about 4 weeks.” There was a guy @ the table and he chuckled “awfully big for a 4 week old” and I replied “yeah, I grew really quickly, people say I’m a fast learner too.” This is where it all got crazy. I started to be pulled back ward towards the edge of the deck overlooking the water, only slightly. I was able to hold on for a bit and I thought nothing of it. Then I realized that we were on a boat and it was rocking back and forth. It tipped even further and I began to slide towards the edge. I would occasionally find things to hang on to but would then slip again after a while. Eventually I was dangling over the edge, and hanging on with all my strength. The waiter came by and extended a helping hand, pulling me back on board. The ship rocked back and I rejoined my group at the table. Nobody else seemed all that affected by the rocking.

The Dog Treat Gun

From the Archive:

I was in a school and a huge dragon like creature was hanging out in one of the open halls. I tossed an explosive device and it stuck to the armor of the beast. I then walked around with a detonator waiting for the appropriate time to trigger it. I reach a paradox. When the beast was indoors I did not want to kill it because I would also kill the children in the school. When the beast was outdoors I did not want to kill it because it was rather majestic, and no longer a threat. The conflict sprawled out into a war, in which we (USA) were fighting against some other country (Mexico?). I could see their army preparing and training (down the street past AL’s? My street is a on a peninsula, but it was not so in the dream) while my army was receiving reinforcements up by KA’s house. Trucks came through filled with colored balloons, and I was thinking wtf… until someone explained that there were tanks hidden inside. A person similar to James Bond handed me a strange pistol that seemed more like a stapler at first. To shoot it I had to twirl it around, which meant it was facing me for a moment, which seemed absurd. The more I used the gun the more complex it got, till I realized it had a slot that would fire dog treats to lure guard dogs away, and a fan that if pointed downward would allow me to fly. As I floated I saw that our team was receiving transformers to fight in the battle, and realized that this might be part of a new transformers movie.

The Vegas Clothing Debacle

From the Archive:

We decided to go to Vegas for a weekend. I was having fun till I realize I’d lost my jacket (this was the same night I’d lost my thumbdrive + keys). I went down to the lost and found, which was where they sold off clothes they’d found for cheap. I found a jacket that looked like mine but was not mine. Someone said, “I can’t believe they sell all this so cheap, think it’s imitation?” But I knew it was just other peoples lost stuff. The woman who was helping me hooked me up with a new jacket and pants and all that fun stuff. A group of friends arrived and decided to stay another night. I ended up staying in a room right off the lobby. The blinds were open and everyone could see me when I woke up. I went to close the blinds and someone on the outside closed a set from the outside before I could close the inside ones. Another girl in my group lost some stuff and we went to the desk again. The lady said to me “I can’t believe you gave me that much of a hassle on my first day.” I said something like “well the logic should have been all the same.”

Leaf on the Wind

From the Archive:

I was standing in an underpass and I heard zero seven’s spinning echoing in from the distance. At this point I realized it to be a dream, and I felt as though the music was some sort of false comforting, or as though I was realizing it’s placating effect and upset by it. I launched myself forward and floated. I must have broken through the dream scenery… I was suddenly at the top of A’s hill. I imagined myself to be light like a drifting leaf, and it was so. I drifted gently downward, and when I came upon something like a table, I simply floated through the legs. I allowed myself to drift out over the water. As I moved down the shore it turned into a tropical beach. I landed, and there were several huts, with different types of people occupying each one.

Note: I've often had trouble flying while lucid in dreams. Often I can get close to wherever it is I want to fly, but then I can't... quite... get there. I've found that rather than thinking "up, up, up" in an attempt to go higher, it helps to think of myself as being extremely light, and allowing myself to float.

Pumpkin Men

From the Archive:

It was passing noon and I could tell everyone was hungry so I was going to take the car into Hardings to pick up food for everyone. This was in a post-apocalyptic setting. I asked my mother if I could take the car, then I remembered back to an earlier part in the dream when I had taken the car out last night and gotten drunk and trashed it (though I wasn’t positive on this). She said I could take it but I’d have to hurry as the lunch specials were about to end. I left the house and ended up on the other side of the golf course. There were suddenly lots and lots of people who had come out to my home town to both steal from the rich and beg for money. Most of them were pretty downtrodden and slow, however, I was able to outrun everyone. I started to run across the golf course over by J’s house and I realized some people were keeping up with me. I turned to check who it was and it was 2 guys and a girl. As I continued running I explained why they couldn’t come with me. I’d jump over a snow bank and say “you’re much too out of shape to keep up with me,” then I’d slide over some ice while the guys fell and say “you don’t have what it takes.” The girl kept up with me though, I was attracted to her so I told her to follow. We ended up at the top of the intersection of Doster road and the road that connects it to my road. I said… “You won’t have any problem keeping up here, this is all downhill, and it’s all fun!” and I was preparing to run down this road that was covered in snow with huge slopes on either side. Just as I started running, pumpkin men came walking up from the bottom, and they also sealed off the top (groups of men who walked around carrying pumpkins by their heads). I believed these to be explosive pumpkins. They fanned out down the hillside to perfectly cut off all my ideas of escaping up or down. I instructed the girl to follow and I jumped over the edge. As I floated they began launching pumpkins, I deflected them with my feet, and dodged others. When I reached the bottom I started trying to throw pumpkins back at them, one of them was hurling really large pumpkins, I couldn’t quite take him out. Then a bunch of random people showed up to fight against he pumpkin men. We started to turn the tide, I ran up to a nice shiny SUV and yelled “DESTROY THEIR ____” (not sure what that word was). I ripped off the rearview mirror, and then ripped off the wiper blades. I was about to smash a window when someone inside said “dude… we’re not with them.”

Cranberry Escape

From the Archive:

I'm running away from someone, running on a road towards New York and Boston. I was hoping to find a television, because then I could look at the place I wanted to be and instantly be there. I ended up jumping over the endge into a huge pool of cranberries. There were a couple people trying to help me escape, and the man I was running from didn’t seem like someone I should legitimately fear. I eventually ran into a shack and he found me. I ran out the door and he shot me.

Waterfalls

from the archive:

I was living in some tropical island paradise. There was a crazy waterfall that seemed to closely follow the laws of mathematics, rather than chaos theory. That is to say, it arched perfectly, and cylindrically, and it broke off at the weirdest spots. Close to the ground another waterfall would just branch off the side. Where they hit the ground there was no splashing, it was as if they went through the ground. This was all at an ocean beach. Someone lived in a house that was suspended some 3000ft into the air. One of the waterfalls started at this house. It was on a small piece of land that was held up by a tiny pole shooting up from the ground. I never got a good look at it, it seemed more like a thin piece of rock shooting up. There was a second waterfall that started above the house. It shot out over the house and landed elsewhere. Sometimes I would be on the beach, at other times I was disembodied and floating above everything.

Monday, June 9, 2008

In the beginning...

I'm going to use this space to publicize my adventures in lucid dreaming. About 3 months ago I began cataloging my dreams and I just hit 100. To get things up and rolling I'll post a few of my favorites over the next few weeks. Names have been abbreviated to protect the innocent. Eventually I'll be documenting my dreams/discoveries as they unfold. This should be fun:

I continually found myself on a roller coaster, one of the craziest rides ever. It had a lot of the dynamics of a pinball machine. At one point there was a fork in the track, and we were no longer on a car, we were just sliding. We all funneled down a narrow chute, and got lost in a maze of tracks. In the lobby B asked who was going to drive, because it was his birthday, and since I’d offered earlier, everyone put me up to the task, though I protested a bit. We walked outside, across the parking lot, to the car. Everyone busted out alcohol, and I laid down my only ground rule, that there would be no drinking in the car if I were going to DD. Everyone already had their bottles out though, and one person had placed a clear aquafina bottle full of alcohol on the ground a ways away from the car. When I went to retrieve it I saw an old policeman making his way towards our car (talking to some other youngsters at the time). I grabbed the bottle and returned to the car, the two front seats were occupied (yes the drivers seat), I gave the bottle to to person in the passengers seat and told him to hide it because the police were about. He tried under the seat, then he tried the dashboard. I felt the presence of the policeman behind me and said “NOW! He’s here!” A young CSI style police detective (dressed in all black w/black hair) rushed forward and began harassing us. “looks like you fellas are planning on drinking and driving tonight!” Myself and TJ began pleading with him. T was almost crying, and repeating “There’s no way I’d get in a car with a belligerent driver man, no way!” I asked the detective to please stop harassing us and to brethalize the driver already. The detective turned to his partner and said “These felas are smart…” which seemed to pacify me. I suddenly found myself back on the ride, and this time when we hit the series of tunnels we all got stuck. There were many other people in the area who’d gotten stuck as well. I could hear the rumble of a rollercoaster car approaching, and a girl on the other side of the track grabbed me and pulled me over against the wall. I became vaguely lucid at this point and we began to make out, but it felt more like a cat was liking and biting my lips.