I'm awfully big... for a 4 week old

From the Archive:

I was with a bunch of people at a restaurant. We were sitting at a table outside on the deck overlooking the water. It was next to a window that let us look inside. I was sitting with a few attractive girls. One of them had a strong southern accent and was sitting across the table (she had walked up and smiled like she wanted to talk to me). I asked if she was from here (Alaska) and she said “Yeah…. I was just born with this funny accent… no sweety I’m from (insert southern state here).” We both laughed a bit. She asked me if I was from here and I said “Yeah I’ve lived here all my life, so about 4 weeks.” There was a guy @ the table and he chuckled “awfully big for a 4 week old” and I replied “yeah, I grew really quickly, people say I’m a fast learner too.” This is where it all got crazy. I started to be pulled back ward towards the edge of the deck overlooking the water, only slightly. I was able to hold on for a bit and I thought nothing of it. Then I realized that we were on a boat and it was rocking back and forth. It tipped even further and I began to slide towards the edge. I would occasionally find things to hang on to but would then slip again after a while. Eventually I was dangling over the edge, and hanging on with all my strength. The waiter came by and extended a helping hand, pulling me back on board. The ship rocked back and I rejoined my group at the table. Nobody else seemed all that affected by the rocking.